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Category Archives: cancer
holding it all
Life can be extreme. Our fears can consume us; joy can make us feel like our hearts will burst. Holding it all, simultaneously, as I was made to do recently, can seem nothing short of defying emotional gravity. There are … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Family, medicine, running, yoga
Tagged biopsy, colposcopy, fear, maxi-pad, PAP test, stirrups, ujjayi breath
2 Comments
the other shoe
We survivors possess many unique skills. Chief among them may be our ability to consciously deny our persistent, nagging fear of The Other Shoe Dropping. It’s essential, if we want to keep on living in any meaningful, joyful way. Most … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Family, Life After Cancer, medicine
Tagged denial, fear, joy, low-grade dysplasia, panic, PAP test
2 Comments
mitt romney steals my baby or, adoption anxiety
My sister-in-law was in for a quick visit this weekend. It was fabulous to see her and finally be able to share parenting stories. For the past eight years, we have watched her raise her own children, always feeling a … Continue reading
Posted in adoption, cancer, politics
Tagged adoptive parent, advanced ovarian cancer, anxiety, balance, caesarian section, diagnosis, fragility, grandparents, Mitt Romney, threats, Twitter
1 Comment
mister mean genes (or, expect the unexpected)
Today I have had the surprising experience of someone else’s good news making me feel like shit. Are we in middle school again? I recall, quite starkly, a “profound thought” from my high school notes of the same name, which … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Life After Cancer, Work
Tagged biking, breast cancer, bungling criminals, cancer family, fate, genetic mutation, guilt, high school, jealousy, middle school, Moab, recurrence, running, unspoken truth
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the essence of injustice
Other women with ovarian cancer are dying. Lots of them. Young women, women my age. I don’t understand why they are dying and I am not. I feel a little guilty. No, a lot guilty. I am so fucking alive, … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Death, Life After Cancer
Tagged grapefruit, head-on collision, HNPCC, injustice, luck, mutation, stage III ovarian cancer, survivor, trenches
3 Comments
the lynch syndrome, with apologies
Some things are just plain unexpected. Or are they? Yesterday, when the rain-soaked mail fell through the slot in the front door, I discovered a thin envelope from Penn GI Genetics – far too thin to be the packet of … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Life After Cancer
Tagged apology, compassion, HNPCC, humanity, Lynch Syndrome, Matt Damon, Penn GI Genetics
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shine on
When my husband and I moved into the house we have been renting for the last three and a half years, our heads promptly filled with visions of the happy life we would live here, even the family we would … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Family, music, running
Tagged anxiety, back deck, Ben Franklin Bridge, blizzard, cancer, comfort, Cooper River Park, freakout, gardening, guardian angel, Iva, music, New Jersey, Pink Floyd, Planet Cancer, Queens, real estate, Shine on You Crazy Diamond, snow, yoga
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