Category Archives: Death

a cat, and cancer’s complicating curse

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Emily

Last week, we put our first pet to sleep. Gracie the orange tabby was with us for over ten years – through 9/11, our wedding, the arrival of Lucy the basset hound, cancer…the list goes on. For a few weeks … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, Family | Tagged Gracie, Grim Reaper, human condition, love, veterinarian | 3 Comments

fight club

Posted on June 6, 2011 by Emily

It’s no accident that I haven’t written since my ovarian sister Sarah Feather passed away last month. I see now how she served as some kind of reference point for me, as if every time I sent my words out to … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, fellow fighters, running, Writing | Tagged check-up, fight, half-marathon, magical thinking, memorial service, neuropathy, running, Sarah Sadtler Feather, Shakespeare, Vermont | 4 Comments

dear sarah

Posted on May 2, 2011 by Emily

Dear Sarah, You have taught me so many things over the years – years that have unfolded with laughter and tears, with shared emotions, with rocks climbed. Now, you are teaching me how to say goodbye to someone I have … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, fellow fighters | Tagged Sarah Sadtler Feather | 3 Comments

echo chamber

Posted on January 9, 2011 by Emily

Words have never come with greater difficulty than they have in the weeks following the death of a fellow young adult cancer warrior with whom I shared an essential but hard to define connection. I didn’t know her well, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, fellow fighters, Life After Cancer, running | Tagged abyss, chemo, Chris Ward Blumer, Christmas, Death, demons, fate, fellow warriors, hangover, indignities, New Year's Eve, post traumatic stress, razor's edge, short ribs, slow cooker, trauma | 2 Comments

chris ward blumer, fallen angel

Posted on December 30, 2010 by Emily

I want to talk about my friend Chris, who died earlier this week. She and I connected early on in my days on Planet Cancer; she was newly diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic colon cancer when I was undergoing treatment … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, fellow fighters, Life After Cancer | Tagged Chicago, Chris Ward Blumer, Cubs, Facebook, fallen angel, Fred the Hot Tranny Mess, Humor, Northwestern, Planet Cancer, stage IV metastatic colon cancer, theater, tumor assassin, Twitter, wine, WineDiva, Wrigleyville | 7 Comments

inarticulate speech of the heart

Posted on December 11, 2010 by Emily

I woke this morning with a singular focus: take a nice long run, hopefully my longest yet, to start the day. For the past two weeks, I have been fighting a losing battle with the cold and dark, and have … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, fellow fighters, Life After Cancer, running | Tagged bonds, connection, Death, Facebook, friendship, heartbroken, inarticulate, Planet Cancer, reunion, social networks, sputtering, whiskey | 5 Comments

when hope is all we have: elizabeth edwards remembered

Posted on December 8, 2010 by Emily

Everyone has been writing tributes to Elizabeth Edwards over the last twenty-four hours. The grief which I felt upon learning of her death yesterday was likely no greater than that of anyone else who admired her but never knew her personally. But it may … Continue reading →

Posted in cancer, Death | Tagged control, courage, Elizabeth Edwards, hope, magical thinking, memoir, politics, second act, stage IV metastatic breast cancer, survival mechanism, wisdom | Leave a comment

no line on the horizon

Posted on October 28, 2010 by Emily

Following my hysterectomy in the early days of winter, 2008, my oncologist presented us with two treatment “options.” In my haze and numbness, I was largely unable to absorb information; Mike became my eyes and ears, as well as my … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Death, fellow fighters, First Descents, Life After Cancer | Tagged acceptance, adoption, CA125, denial, destination, five-year survival rate, Grim Reaper, horizon, hysterectomy, Lemondrop, magical thinking, Mike, ovarian cancer, PATCO, realism, Sarah Sadtler Feather, scans, scopes, statistics | 8 Comments

dreams, whiplash and pre-scope anxiety (oh my!)

Posted on October 7, 2010 by Emily

It is expected and logical that the eve of two surveillance scopes (lower and upper GI in a delicious one-two punch) would find me in a somewhat heightened state of anxiety. The psychological whiplash goes something like this: Spend an … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Death, First Descents, Life After Cancer, medicine, running, Work | Tagged 10K, adoption seminar, anxiety, buzz-kill, colonoscopy, Dali, David Cronenberg, Denver Marathon, Dr. Chu, First Descents, going nuclear, HNPCC, NLDS, Nurse Sarah, Paul Thomas Anderson, recurrence, referrals, upper endoscopy | 1 Comment

my left foot (or, what’s compulsive after cancer?)

Posted on September 6, 2010 by Emily

Today started with barking, dog wrestling and a power outage. We just spent ten days taking care of our friends’ Pomapoo, who loved to begin each day with a vigorous yet playful attack on our own aging basset hound. High-pitched … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, cycling, Death, fellow fighters, Life After Cancer, running | Tagged adoption, basset hound, buzzing, coffee with chicory, compulsive, cycling, genetic mutation, life expectancy, MS 150 CIty to Shore, mums, neuropathy, Pomapoo, power outage, prognosis, PSE&G, running, Sarah Sadtler Feather, weed whacking | 4 Comments