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Category Archives: Death
STAYING ALIVE
We are hurtling toward the Christmas holiday; Hanukkah began last night. But the sun is warming us in what feels like another extended summer. As my son grows, will he ever know the joy of a snowy winter morning? Humans … Continue reading
Posted in adoption, Death, fellow fighters, running
1 Comment
from revolution to evolution: belated thanks to the boys
Four years ago, I wrote with some fairly measured seriousness about the transcendent experience of finally seeing U2, my favorite band of 30 years, up close. At that moment, I was still living in the relatively immediate shadow of my … Continue reading
Posted in cycling, Death, Life After Cancer, music
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THIS; NOW
When I was diagnosed with cancer seven years ago, I inevitably became preoccupied with my own mortality. The vibrant immediacy of the life I had been living before the moment of my diagnosis was eclipsed by the terrifying reality that … Continue reading
Posted in Death, Family
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a cat, and cancer’s complicating curse
Last week, we put our first pet to sleep. Gracie the orange tabby was with us for over ten years – through 9/11, our wedding, the arrival of Lucy the basset hound, cancer…the list goes on. For a few weeks … Continue reading
fight club
It’s no accident that I haven’t written since my ovarian sister Sarah Feather passed away last month. I see now how she served as some kind of reference point for me, as if every time I sent my words out to … Continue reading
Posted in Death, fellow fighters, running, Writing
Tagged check-up, fight, half-marathon, magical thinking, memorial service, neuropathy, running, Sarah Sadtler Feather, Shakespeare, Vermont
4 Comments
dear sarah
Dear Sarah, You have taught me so many things over the years – years that have unfolded with laughter and tears, with shared emotions, with rocks climbed. Now, you are teaching me how to say goodbye to someone I have … Continue reading
echo chamber
Words have never come with greater difficulty than they have in the weeks following the death of a fellow young adult cancer warrior with whom I shared an essential but hard to define connection. I didn’t know her well, but … Continue reading
Posted in Death, fellow fighters, Life After Cancer, running
Tagged abyss, chemo, Chris Ward Blumer, Christmas, Death, demons, fate, fellow warriors, hangover, indignities, New Year's Eve, post traumatic stress, razor's edge, short ribs, slow cooker, trauma
2 Comments
inarticulate speech of the heart
I woke this morning with a singular focus: take a nice long run, hopefully my longest yet, to start the day. For the past two weeks, I have been fighting a losing battle with the cold and dark, and have … Continue reading
Posted in Death, fellow fighters, Life After Cancer, running
Tagged bonds, connection, Death, Facebook, friendship, heartbroken, inarticulate, Planet Cancer, reunion, social networks, sputtering, whiskey
5 Comments