Author Archives: Emily

next time, a lollipop

Posted on July 15, 2010 by Emily

“You’ve been through a lot.” Simple words, uttered by an attending internist I met for the first time this morning, but it was exactly the straight-forward recognition that I look for from people – especially doctors – when they first … Continue reading →

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existential crisis

Posted on July 14, 2010 by Emily

“What, exactly, am I doing?” In recent weeks, this question has been echoing through my mind.  A few possible explanations for this existential crisis:  summertime.  Lately, the heat in Philadelphia has been otherworldly, leaving me wrung out like a dishrag … Continue reading →

Posted in Infertility, Life After Cancer, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

back in the saddle, back from the dead

Posted on July 5, 2010 by Emily

This morning, as I rode my bike through the corner of South Jersey that I now call home, the sound of the cicadas in the trees took me back to a very particular place:  Main Line YMCA day camp, about … Continue reading →

Posted in Life After Cancer, Philadelphia, running | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

running for my life

Posted on June 27, 2010 by Emily

A huge box hastily labeled “CANCER STUFF” was finally opened today, one of the last from the April move.  The room it has inhabited since April 9 is at last turning into the study that I have been dreaming of … Continue reading →

Posted in Life After Cancer, running | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

mister mean genes (or, expect the unexpected)

Posted on June 23, 2010 by Emily

Today I have had the surprising experience of someone else’s good news making me feel like shit.  Are we in middle school again?  I recall, quite starkly, a “profound thought” from my high school notes of the same name, which … Continue reading →

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the essence of injustice

Posted on June 18, 2010 by Emily

Other women with ovarian cancer are dying.  Lots of them.  Young women, women my age.  I don’t understand why they are dying and I am not.  I feel a little guilty.  No, a lot guilty.  I am so fucking alive, … Continue reading →

Posted in cancer, Death, Life After Cancer | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

performing cancer

Posted on June 14, 2010 by Emily

My efforts to explain and unpack my cancer experience have always been narrative, linear.  I try to tell a story – or, lots of little stories – clearly, concisely, and in a way that people can connect with and understand. … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, Film, Life After Cancer, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

TWO YEARS ON: TO LIFE

Posted on June 12, 2010 by Emily

In an attempt to measure the journey of the last two years, let me try to qualify different kinds of exhaustion.  Today, I am, I admit, a bit wiped out.  Last night, in celebration of Mike’s birthday as well as … Continue reading →

Posted in Life After Cancer, running | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

up off my knees

Posted on June 2, 2010 by Emily

This morning on my run, less than ten minutes in, one of my favorite U2 songs, “PLEASE,”  came up on the shuffle.  As I strode along the now-familiar north side of Cooper River, these lyrics struck me:  “So you never … Continue reading →

Posted in Life After Cancer, music, running | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

small steps, big love

Posted on May 23, 2010 by Emily

Last week, my wonderful friend and gardening guru, Judy, came over to our new house.  It was a saturated, sunless late afternoon, so we were limited to drinking tea, standing in the sun room and surveying the back yard.  I … Continue reading →

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