Category Archives: First Descents

these things help

I am generally averse to lists.  But on a Friday afternoon, shorthand is useful.  And since I spent last evening processing my pre-scope anxiety in a rather more flowerly fashion than I’d originally intended, let me try to break it … Continue reading

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dreams, whiplash and pre-scope anxiety (oh my!)

It is expected and logical that the eve of two surveillance scopes (lower and upper GI in a delicious one-two punch) would find me in a somewhat heightened state of anxiety. The psychological whiplash goes something like this: Spend an … Continue reading

Posted in adoption, Death, First Descents, Life After Cancer, medicine, running, Work | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

the invisible hand of first descents

Some things are so obvious, we risk taking them for granted.  Some things underpin so much of who we are, what we do, that it seems unnecessary, or redundant, to spend time reflecting on their significance.  At the end of … Continue reading

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heroes: roll-call

In my own stillness today, it seems right to offer a round-up of a few of the fiercest fighters around me.  I often think about this ad-hoc community of young adult survivors that I am so blessed to be a … Continue reading

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enjoy the silence

It is an admittedly irrational fear of mine that if I rest for too long, or indulge in too much stillness, cancer will somehow have won. Ridiculous, I know.  I am three months shy of the third anniversary of my … Continue reading

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small steps, big love

Last week, my wonderful friend and gardening guru, Judy, came over to our new house.  It was a saturated, sunless late afternoon, so we were limited to drinking tea, standing in the sun room and surveying the back yard.  I … Continue reading

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increasing the happy

There are moments – increasing in frequency and intensity – when I am amazed at the depth of my happiness.  The happiness I know now is richer, more substantial, than anything I knew before cancer.  This weekend, not unexpectedly, was … Continue reading

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everything that rises must converge

This phrase, from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, via Flannery O’Connor, came into my head this afternoon as I strolled through my new neighborhood and thought, as I inevitably do, about First Descents.  The words struck me hard, with precision, though … Continue reading

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first descents, take two: a boundless blessing

Three days ago, I unpacked from a week in Moab, Utah with First Descents.  Tonight, I should be packing again, but instead I am sitting in my pajamas, fumbling with words.  It’s overdue.  It’s late, and I am tired. Back … Continue reading

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love train

Did my last post come across as, well, homicidal?  I didn’t mean for it to.  I’m peace-loving, really.  To clarify, the only machine gun I would ever wield is one loaded with words; language is my best defense, my greatest … Continue reading

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