Category Archives: Life After Cancer

inarticulate speech of the heart

Posted on December 11, 2010 by Emily

I woke this morning with a singular focus: take a nice long run, hopefully my longest yet, to start the day. For the past two weeks, I have been fighting a losing battle with the cold and dark, and have … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, fellow fighters, Life After Cancer, running | Tagged bonds, connection, Death, Facebook, friendship, heartbroken, inarticulate, Planet Cancer, reunion, social networks, sputtering, whiskey | 5 Comments

three years on: haunted, miraculous

Posted on December 5, 2010 by Emily

When I last wrote, I’d just gotten a hard slap from cancer at the precise moment it seemed I was at long last beginning to put some distance between my life as defined by cancer and the life that I … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Family, fellow fighters, First Descents, Life After Cancer | Tagged adoption, cancerversary, check-up, First Descents, glass of wine, holidays, life expectancy, Market-Frankford El, Neil Finn, Perelman Center, rappel, shapeless sadness, Superior Court brief, surgery, therapy, Utah, Valentine's Day | 2 Comments

the wonder of the now (or, Cheesesteak 1, Shelob 0)

Posted on November 18, 2010 by Emily

As I was walking to court this afternoon, for what promised (and proved) to be a very uneventful hearing, I felt a strange sensation creeping over me. It was a faint sensation, not overpowering, but it was vaguely and disturbingly reminiscent of … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Life After Cancer | Tagged abdominal cavity, anniversary, anxiety, calendar, dread, emotional switches, head, Life on Earth, neuropathic feet, panic, running, Shelob | 2 Comments

leap of faith

Posted on November 13, 2010 by Emily

Thursday night, Mike and I attended a workshop on the effects of substance abuse during pregnancy. Our agency, Open Arms, does a fabulous job of making the adoption process all about “lifelong learning,” and one of the areas they want … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Family, Infertility, Life After Cancer | Tagged abdominal cavity, adoption, birth mother, chance, fetus, HNPCC, leap of faith, luck, Open Arms, pregnancy, reproductive organs, statistics, substance abuse, unpredictability | Leave a comment

speaking out; running hard

Posted on November 7, 2010 by Emily

By all rights, I should be curled up on the couch with Peter Carey’s Parrot and Olivier in America, sipping my Riverhorse Belgian Freeze, breathing deeply and calmly, engaged in some kind of conscious regrouping after a long and eventful … Continue reading →

Posted in First Descents, Life After Cancer, Philadelphia, running | Tagged 10K, Beemer, Camden, Campbell's Field, Cathy Bueti, devil's butt crack, Double-Oh-Seven, Dr. Mary Daly, finish line, Fox Chase Cancer Center, Kerri Conner, Lemondrop, Mike, Moab, New York CIty Marathon, Peter Carey, Riverhorse Belgian Freeze, Run the Bridge | Leave a comment

no line on the horizon

Posted on October 28, 2010 by Emily

Following my hysterectomy in the early days of winter, 2008, my oncologist presented us with two treatment “options.” In my haze and numbness, I was largely unable to absorb information; Mike became my eyes and ears, as well as my … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Death, fellow fighters, First Descents, Life After Cancer | Tagged acceptance, adoption, CA125, denial, destination, five-year survival rate, Grim Reaper, horizon, hysterectomy, Lemondrop, magical thinking, Mike, ovarian cancer, PATCO, realism, Sarah Sadtler Feather, scans, scopes, statistics | 8 Comments

a twisted blessing

Posted on October 26, 2010 by Emily

Two weeks ago, my delicious colonoscopy revealed no evidence suggestive of cancer, but something about my appendix struck my doctor as a bit curious. In the spirit of hyper-vigilance with which I am now and forever to be monitored – … Continue reading →

Posted in Life After Cancer, medicine | Tagged agitation, anxiety, appendix, barium smoothie, bloodwork, colonoscopy, CT scan, IV, Nurse Sarah, pelvic exam, Penn Medicine, phone tag, reigmen, surveillance, test results | 2 Comments

never relent: thoughts on game six

Posted on October 23, 2010 by Emily

I could never/Give it up/I could never relent/And I can’t/Wait to see/ What will happen/To me next I will take my chances/’Cause anything can happen/I don’t believe it’s over/’Cause anything can happen Neil and Tim Finn Increasingly, over the past … Continue reading →

Posted in Baseball, First Descents, Life After Cancer, Philadelphia | Tagged 10K, 2008, beautiful sea of red, Denver, duck-fuzz hair, First Descents, Marhaba, neuropathy, NLCS, Phillies, possibility, Rock 'n' Roll marathon, scars, tears, treadmill, World Series | Leave a comment

when the hangover strikes

Posted on October 12, 2010 by Emily

During law school, my husband often talked about the hangover that would strike after the extreme stress and pressure of preparing for exams. You focus, you strain, you concentrate so hard, and once the exams are over, you find yourself … Continue reading →

Posted in Life After Cancer, medicine, running | Tagged appendix, colonoscopy, confusion, Cooper River, CT scan, darkness, demon, depression, exams, genetics, Haddonfield, hangover, head-on collision, iPod, law school, optical illusion, running, suburbs, upper endoscopy | 1 Comment

these things help

Posted on October 8, 2010 by Emily

I am generally averse to lists. But on a Friday afternoon, shorthand is useful. And since I spent last evening processing my pre-scope anxiety in a rather more flowerly fashion than I’d originally intended, let me try to break it … Continue reading →

Posted in fellow fighters, First Descents, Life After Cancer, medicine | Tagged anxiety, Citizens Bank Park, fabulous husband, Fridge, giving cancer the bird, no-hitter, referrals, Roy Halladay, Shotgun, sunshine | 2 Comments