Category Archives: Life After Cancer

flat as a pancake

Posted on April 2, 2011 by Emily

Hard truth: even after weathering a cancer diagnosis, treatment and recovery – after achieving the kind of semi-permanent euphoria that comes with embracing life after almost dying – it’s possible to find yourself drained, beat-down and discouraged. Nay, depressed. It’s … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Baseball, Life After Cancer, Work | Tagged adoption, car seat, chemo, daffodils, existential angst, gardening, intestinal virus, invincible, Opening Day, pack and play, pancake, pansies, Phillies, professional life, PTSD, steam-roller, toilet-bowl, Work, yoga | 2 Comments

over my head: a yoga/cancer miracle

Posted on March 16, 2011 by Emily

Today’s extraordinary lesson was about coincidence, unspoken connections, the unexpected and letting go. And all of that before 7 AM. Since January, I have been attending a weekly 6 AM core-strengthening yoga class. It’s been revelatory. It’s helped my running; … Continue reading →

Posted in fellow fighters, Life After Cancer, yoga | Tagged ballsiness, banana, bowel movement, Coach Joe, coffee, contact lenses, ego, Facebook, headstand, inversion, over-sleeping, rain, self-consciousness, substitute teacher, survivors, Twitter, unspoken connection, yoga | 4 Comments

endurance

Posted on March 14, 2011 by Emily

For months on end, this was the safest place to excavate so much of my life after cancer – the struggles, the triumphs. The strange ambiguity of living after almost dying. But there are so many enormous things happening now … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Life After Cancer | Tagged Crowded House, cruelty, earthquake, endurance, garden, heartbreak, horror, injustice, Japan, loss, self-absorption, tsunami, yoga | 4 Comments

anticipation/transformation

Posted on February 23, 2011 by Emily

Life is becoming about so much more than cancer. Specifically, it has become about building our family. We first engaged with our adoption agency in the fall, and now, as winter winds down, we are literally just hours away from … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Infertility, Life After Cancer | 2 Comments

gut feeling

Posted on January 22, 2011 by Emily

The dead of winter has officially arrived. If it’s not snowing, it’s raining, sleeting and freezing. Roads and sidewalks in our wooded suburban enclave have grown treacherous. Today, though bitter cold, was at least dry, so a few hours ago, … Continue reading →

Posted in Life After Cancer, running | Tagged abdomen, Coach Joe, core, half-marathon, running, snow, soreness, struggle, sweat, winter, yoga | 2 Comments

who’s that girl?

Posted on January 17, 2011 by Emily

The last few days have been something of an an exercise in time-travel, and measuring the more superficial effects of cancer. Most of my time here is spent dissecting cancer’s emotional and psychological toll. Really, that’s the important stuff. But … Continue reading →

Posted in Life After Cancer, Photography | Tagged abdomen, adoption profile book, bust, hair, middle-aged, navel, physical changes, ravages of time, thirties, time-travel, waistline, wedding | Leave a comment

ghost child

Posted on January 12, 2011 by Emily

This evening as I was leaving work, one of my colleagues, who was my office-mate when my nephew was born six years ago, asked me how he was doing. Actually, her exact words were, “How’s my man doing?,” and I … Continue reading →

Posted in adoption, Family, Film, Infertility, Life After Cancer | Tagged adoption, Bubz Junior, chemotherapy, dreams, fertility treatment, genes, ghost child, gratitude, grief, infertility, menopause, nephew, peace, pregnancy, Rabbit Hole | 2 Comments

echo chamber

Posted on January 9, 2011 by Emily

Words have never come with greater difficulty than they have in the weeks following the death of a fellow young adult cancer warrior with whom I shared an essential but hard to define connection. I didn’t know her well, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, fellow fighters, Life After Cancer, running | Tagged abyss, chemo, Chris Ward Blumer, Christmas, Death, demons, fate, fellow warriors, hangover, indignities, New Year's Eve, post traumatic stress, razor's edge, short ribs, slow cooker, trauma | 2 Comments

chris ward blumer, fallen angel

Posted on December 30, 2010 by Emily

I want to talk about my friend Chris, who died earlier this week. She and I connected early on in my days on Planet Cancer; she was newly diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic colon cancer when I was undergoing treatment … Continue reading →

Posted in Death, fellow fighters, Life After Cancer | Tagged Chicago, Chris Ward Blumer, Cubs, Facebook, fallen angel, Fred the Hot Tranny Mess, Humor, Northwestern, Planet Cancer, stage IV metastatic colon cancer, theater, tumor assassin, Twitter, wine, WineDiva, Wrigleyville | 7 Comments

looks can be deceiving

Posted on December 19, 2010 by Emily

There’s a funny sort of game that we play with our fellow survivors – those kickers of cancer ass with whom we share such powerful affinity. It’s an endless back-and-forth of affirmation, of reminding one another of the strength and … Continue reading →

Posted in fellow fighters, Life After Cancer | Tagged affinity, anger, baggage, Cooper River, defiance, ecstasy, eye of the beholder, fear, grace, guilt, horror movie, insecurity, irony, life-affirming, sadness, surveillance, terror | 6 Comments