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Author Archives: Emily
speaking out; running hard
By all rights, I should be curled up on the couch with Peter Carey’s Parrot and Olivier in America, sipping my Riverhorse Belgian Freeze, breathing deeply and calmly, engaged in some kind of conscious regrouping after a long and eventful … Continue reading
Posted in First Descents, Life After Cancer, Philadelphia, running
Tagged 10K, Beemer, Camden, Campbell's Field, Cathy Bueti, devil's butt crack, Double-Oh-Seven, Dr. Mary Daly, finish line, Fox Chase Cancer Center, Kerri Conner, Lemondrop, Mike, Moab, New York CIty Marathon, Peter Carey, Riverhorse Belgian Freeze, Run the Bridge
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no line on the horizon
Following my hysterectomy in the early days of winter, 2008, my oncologist presented us with two treatment “options.” In my haze and numbness, I was largely unable to absorb information; Mike became my eyes and ears, as well as my … Continue reading
Posted in adoption, Death, fellow fighters, First Descents, Life After Cancer
Tagged acceptance, adoption, CA125, denial, destination, five-year survival rate, Grim Reaper, horizon, hysterectomy, Lemondrop, magical thinking, Mike, ovarian cancer, PATCO, realism, Sarah Sadtler Feather, scans, scopes, statistics
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never relent: thoughts on game six
I could never/Give it up/I could never relent/And I can’t/Wait to see/ What will happen/To me next I will take my chances/’Cause anything can happen/I don’t believe it’s over/’Cause anything can happen Neil and Tim Finn Increasingly, over the past … Continue reading
Posted in Baseball, First Descents, Life After Cancer, Philadelphia
Tagged 10K, 2008, beautiful sea of red, Denver, duck-fuzz hair, First Descents, Marhaba, neuropathy, NLCS, Phillies, possibility, Rock 'n' Roll marathon, scars, tears, treadmill, World Series
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when the hangover strikes
During law school, my husband often talked about the hangover that would strike after the extreme stress and pressure of preparing for exams. You focus, you strain, you concentrate so hard, and once the exams are over, you find yourself … Continue reading
Posted in Life After Cancer, medicine, running
Tagged appendix, colonoscopy, confusion, Cooper River, CT scan, darkness, demon, depression, exams, genetics, Haddonfield, hangover, head-on collision, iPod, law school, optical illusion, running, suburbs, upper endoscopy
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these things help
I am generally averse to lists. But on a Friday afternoon, shorthand is useful. And since I spent last evening processing my pre-scope anxiety in a rather more flowerly fashion than I’d originally intended, let me try to break it … Continue reading
dreams, whiplash and pre-scope anxiety (oh my!)
It is expected and logical that the eve of two surveillance scopes (lower and upper GI in a delicious one-two punch) would find me in a somewhat heightened state of anxiety. The psychological whiplash goes something like this: Spend an … Continue reading
Posted in adoption, Death, First Descents, Life After Cancer, medicine, running, Work
Tagged 10K, adoption seminar, anxiety, buzz-kill, colonoscopy, Dali, David Cronenberg, Denver Marathon, Dr. Chu, First Descents, going nuclear, HNPCC, NLDS, Nurse Sarah, Paul Thomas Anderson, recurrence, referrals, upper endoscopy
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actually, it kind of IS about the bike
Last weekend marked a huge milestone in my journey away from cancer and back to life. It crept up on me, rather unexpectedly, and left me filled with a lighter-than-air sense of triumph. After cycling seventy-five miles from the outskirts … Continue reading
Posted in cycling, Life After Cancer, Philadelphia, running
Tagged 9/11, causeways, cycling, Johnson's Popcorn, Mack and Manco's, MLK Drive, MS 150 CIty to Shore, neuropathy, Ocean City, Phillies, pierogies, Planet Cancer, port-a-potties, rock-climbing, stage III ovarian cancer, Team Anti-Corp, Turkey Hill ice cream, Utah, Wyoming
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atonement
Thirteen years into my partnership/marriage with Mike, and there’s still an inescapable awkwardness that creeps in each year around the High Holidays. While I recognize the significance of this period on the calendar from a theoretical standpoint, some of its … Continue reading
Posted in Family, Life After Cancer, Writing
Tagged atoning, bagels, bike shop, compassion, cruelty, Denver Marathon, fortitude, iTunes, Judaism, Kate, Mike, MS 150, patience, pumping up, smoked fish, synagogue, therapist, understanding, Yom Kippur
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comfort in the fight
There’s danger in complacency/And comfort in the fight. – Jonatha Brooke Every so often, no matter how “great” you are feeling, there are moments in a survivor’s life when the sheer shit storm of cancer and its after-effects come along … Continue reading