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Tag Archives: fear
moments of surrender
As it turns out, there is much more to fear in life than the onset of a life-threatening illness. Fear of weakness, of facing limitations, of inadequacy, of conflict, of vulnerability – over the last five years, these manifestations of … Continue reading
Posted in First Descents, Life After Cancer, yoga
Tagged fear, First Descents, five years, rappelling, shavasana, vinyasa, wheel pose
2 Comments
holding it all
Life can be extreme. Our fears can consume us; joy can make us feel like our hearts will burst. Holding it all, simultaneously, as I was made to do recently, can seem nothing short of defying emotional gravity. There are … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Family, medicine, running, yoga
Tagged biopsy, colposcopy, fear, maxi-pad, PAP test, stirrups, ujjayi breath
2 Comments
the other shoe
We survivors possess many unique skills. Chief among them may be our ability to consciously deny our persistent, nagging fear of The Other Shoe Dropping. It’s essential, if we want to keep on living in any meaningful, joyful way. Most … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Family, Life After Cancer, medicine
Tagged denial, fear, joy, low-grade dysplasia, panic, PAP test
2 Comments
third time’s the charm: first descents, montana, july 2011
They say the third time’s the charm. But how can I possibly measure my most recent trip to the divine land of First Descents love and laughter against my previous sojourns? It’s simply not appropriate. So maybe all I can … Continue reading
Posted in fellow fighters, First Descents, Life After Cancer
Tagged fear, First Descents, Flathead River, Glacier, Iceman, kayaking, Lake McDonald, Montana, Patch, Spam
1 Comment
looks can be deceiving
There’s a funny sort of game that we play with our fellow survivors – those kickers of cancer ass with whom we share such powerful affinity. It’s an endless back-and-forth of affirmation, of reminding one another of the strength and … Continue reading
Posted in fellow fighters, Life After Cancer
Tagged affinity, anger, baggage, Cooper River, defiance, ecstasy, eye of the beholder, fear, grace, guilt, horror movie, insecurity, irony, life-affirming, sadness, surveillance, terror
6 Comments
the RIGHT NOW! box
Last month, I visited the genetic counseling folks at Penn’s GI Practice. I sat with a GI doctor, a genetics counselor, a genetics intern, and some other unidentified young physician. Before I met with the lead doctor, the intern was … Continue reading
Posted in Family, Life After Cancer
Tagged ALL, Baseball, Cancerland, fear, floods, gardening, genetic testing, Hamlet, HNPCC, Jazzfest, lymphoma, New Orleans, peril, phlebotomist, RIGHT NOW! box, running, strike three, Utah
2 Comments
a courageous front
Yet another day on the cancer roller-coaster, though not quite in the way I might have anticipated. December 1: the diagnosis anniversary is nigh. Thursday, 12/3, is really my own personal D-Day, even though it does not signify the day … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Life After Cancer, Writing
Tagged Afghanistan, anniversary, cheap red wine, D-Day, diagnosis, fear, isolation, Obama, Pied Piper, recurrence, The Beatles, toilet, whiplash
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on becoming a cancer fairy godmother
Last night’s brutal Phillies loss makes Friday seems about a million years ago. Perhaps I should have made an attempt to commit that day’s thoughts to writing earlier, but now – Sunday afternoon, with time further warped due to the … Continue reading
Posted in Baseball, cancer, Life After Cancer
Tagged cancer, daylight savings, diagnosis, fairy godmother, fear, First Descents, Imerman Angels, Phillies, recurrence, uncertainty, Zen-like, Zoloft
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been there, done that
Tomorrow, my cousin’s wife will be starting chemo for breast cancer. She was diagnosed a few months ago and has already undergone a partial mastectomy. When I learned about her illness, I posted briefly over at my Planet Cancer page … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, Family, Life After Cancer
Tagged buttinsky, cancer, Cancer Cape, chemo, control, fear, Jackson Hole, Planet Cancer
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